


Hail Gary, Full Of Grace

by carnivalinsidemyhead



Category: Take That
Genre: (technical) Virgin Gary, Christmas fic, Crack, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Mpreg, Romance, Wedding Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28060899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carnivalinsidemyhead/pseuds/carnivalinsidemyhead
Summary: Gary stared in astonishment as Jason dropped to his knees and placed a reverent kiss on his slightly swelling belly and smiled up at him.“Mate, you got the Messiah in there.”
Relationships: Gary Barlow/Mark Owen
Kudos: 6





	Hail Gary, Full Of Grace

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as a joke with a friend and then I ended up turning it into a real thing. All apologies for any blasphemy being committed within it.

They were sleeping soundly, curled around each other like puppies, when they were both abruptly awakened by a very loud and discordant buzzing, humming sound.

“Wha...whozza?” Mark bolted up in confusion.

Gary cautiously opened one eye, squinting dubiously.

“Is someone playing The Girl From Ipanema on a chainsaw or am I still dreaming?”

Mark clapped his hands over his ears and whimpered as the sound got louder.

“Make it stop, Gazza,” he whined.

Gary nodded, tiredly stumbling out of bed. 

“Seems to be coming from the kitchen? I’ll go take a look. You go back to sleep.”

When he entered the kitchen he was hit by a blinding light and a booming voice that seemed to come from inside of him although he knew it wasn’t his voice.

BE NOT AFRAID GARY FOR I BRING TIDINGS OF GREAT JOY.

“Err...great..I’m gonna win the pools then?”

YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO BEAR THE CHILD OF THE LORD. 

Gary blinked.

“Excuse me...but I don’t think I’ve got the right..err..equipment for that…”

IT HAS BEEN DONE. IT HAPPENED WHEN YOU WERE LAST INTIMATE WITH YOUR PARTNER. YOU ARE WITH CHILD. YOU WILL BEAR THE CHILD IN DECEMBER.

Gary blinked again.

“But me and Markie haven’t...not all the...we haven’t done...we’re waiting for our wedding night…”

THE LORD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS.

And with that the voice went silent and the lights went out and the humming stopped.

“But I only gave Mark a handjob…” Gary muttered in bewilderment to himself.

“Gaz?” Mark sat up sleepily when he heard the bedroom door creak open. 

“Gaz what on earth happened tonight?”

Gary chewed his bottom lip nervously and cleared his throat a few times before he sat down at the foot of the bed and looked at Mark.

“Marko, you’re not going to believe this one…”

———————————

“I’m sorry...you’re WHAT??” It wasn’t possible for Mark’s brow to furrow any deeper.

Gary sighed.

“I’m pregnant. With God’s baby. Apparently.”

“I...how...you’ve only ever wanked me off...well there was that one time you suc...but…”

He stopped abruptly and looked at Gary accusingly.

“You’ve not been fooling around with Rob behind me back have you?”

Gary looked indignant.

“What? No! Of course not! Did you miss the bit about it being God’s baby?”

Mark cocked his head in confusion.

“Exactly how does that work, then?”

Gary shrugged helplessly.

“Fucked if I know, mate.”

Mark shook his head. 

“We’re having some sort of joint hallucination from lack of sleep. We’re going back to bed. And when we wake up in the morning, things will be back to normal.”

Gary looked at him uncertainly. 

“I don’t think it…” he started and then trailed off with a yawn. He was too tired to argue.

“Night, Markie” he murmured as he snuggled up to him and drifted off.

———————————-

Much to Mark’s disappointment, things were not, in fact, back to normal in the morning. 

“Oh god, I think I’m going to be sick.”

And Gary was even more disappointed than Mark.

For a brief moment he wondered how he’d managed to get a hangover when he hadn’t even drank the night before but then his brain caught itself up to his current situation.

“I think I’ve got morning sickness. What are you supposed to do for that?”

Mark scrunched his face up in concentration.

“My mum always gave me ginger ale and dry toast when I had stomach flu when I was a kid. Maybe this works the same way?”

Gary looked apprehensive.

“I don’t think I could keep that down.”

Mark pulled back his covers and wriggled up to a sitting position and placed a kiss on the top of Gary’s head.

“Poor baby,” he murmured. 

“Why don’t you give it a try? I’ll bring it to you- just take it slowly, yeah?”

———————————- 

“Thought you only did handjobs? How do you get knocked up from those?”

“Nevermind that, how the fuck does a bloke get knocked up at all??”

“Nevermind either of those things, what do you mean you’re carrying God’s baby???”

Howard, Robbie, and Jason each responded to the news predictably enough.

Gary told them what had happened when he was visited by the voice.

And stared in astonishment as Jason dropped to his knees and placed a reverent kiss on his slightly swelling belly and smiled up at him.

“Mate, you got the Messiah in there.”

Robbie frowned. 

“Thought that was Jesus? Didn’t we already do this like a couple thousand years ago or something?”

“Well they’re always talking about the second coming aren’t they? Maybe this is it?” Howard ventured cautiously.

“Course I’m probably just talking out me arse.”

Jason turned to Howard with a grin.  
“How, that’s brilliant.”

Howard looked surprised.

“It is?”

Gary, Robbie, and Mark echoed his surprise.

“It is?”

Jason nodded. 

“What else would it be? It’s gone a bit different than what the prophecies have been predicting, sure, but the lord does work in mysterious ways after all.”

“So I’ve been told,” Gary commented drily.  
———————————————-

The months slowly crept on until Gary’s due date was soon approaching.

He was sitting on the couch with his swollen feet propped up when Mark popped the question.

“Mark...you already did that, we’re engaged, remember?”

Mark shook his head. “No..I mean, yeah, we are... but I was just thinking...should we move the wedding up? I mean...it...it might not look good for the Second Coming to be born out of wedlock and all.”

“I’m not sure if it really makes a difference since technically speaking it’s not really your baby.”

Mark looked stricken.

“I know that.” He was quiet for a moment and then spoke up hesitantly.

“I...I know I’m not the father, really, but I’m going to be the one here with you raising him..”

“Or her”, interjected Gary.

“Right. Or her. Anyway, since we’ll be raising the baby together, do you think it’s okay if they call me Daddy?”

Gary looked at Mark’s worried face and pulled him close for a kiss.

“C’mere you. You are going to be the best daddy ever. Besides, now that I think about it, this baby might be partly yours. After all, they did need me to make you cum even if it didn’t actually...erm...enter me, as far as I know…”

“I still don’t understand how any of this works...yeah, yeah, mysterious ways and that...”

“But anyway, what do you say about the wedding?”

Gary sighed.

“Mate, I don’t have the energy to put together a wedding and I don’t know how much time we have either.”

“Leave that to me!” Mark beamed at him excitedly.

Gary cocked a suspicious eyebrow at him and smirked. 

“You’ve been chomping at the bit to do this haven’t you?”

Mark looked sheepish. 

“Maybe a little bit. One question though, since we’re pressed for time here, d’you mind us getting married at your baby shower?”

“I...I suppose not, no.”

“Great!” 

He leaned over and gave Gary a quick kiss on the cheek and ruffled his hair, then jumped up.

“I gotta get going, got a wedding to plan, haven’t I? You’ll see, Gaz, we’ll make it really special for you.”

“We?”

“Me and Rob and Jay and Dougie of course.”

“Of course. What have I let you talk me into?”

Mark laughed. “It’s gonna be mega, trust me. Now, do you need anything before I go?”

“Can you get me another slice of banoffee pie?”

——————————————  
“Mark, mate, just because this kid is the second coming of Jesus, it doesn’t mean you have to recreate the exact conditions of Jesus’s birth,” Jason looked around the freezing barn and at the long brocade robe and crown he’d been handed while being informed that he and Howard and Rob were to serve as the Magi.

“For one thing, most biblical scholars believe Jesus was born in the spring and a lot of what we assume is actually apocryphal... and where on earth did you find myrrh??”

“What the fuck is myrrh anyway?” Robbie asked.

“It’s an herb they used to make balms to treat rashes. Probably it was pretty useful for a baby, really.”

Mark huffed impatiently. 

“I don’t want the baby to be *born* here, obviously we’re going to use a proper hospital and doctors for that. I just want to evoke the right atmosphere for the wedding/baby shower.”

“I don’t think you’re going to have much luck getting Gaz to dress up as Mary though, mate,” Howard laughed.

Mark sighed. 

“You’re probably right. He’d look so lovely in that shade of blue too.”

“Anyway, which one of you six footers wants to put this star up?”  
——————————————————  
One week later, Jason was tying the sash on Gary’s blue silk robe. As they’d guessed, he nixed wearing a veil draped over his head, saying that yes he knew he was pregnant but he was still a groom, and was going to dress accordingly. However he conceded to a robe and loose trousers in the desired shade of Madonna Blue and a crown of holly to appease Mark and to walk down the aisle to Like A Prayer as well.

“There. All set,” Jason stepped back to observe his handiwork.

“You look great, mate. How are you feeling?”

Gary took a slow breath and flinched, touching his hand to his abdomen.

“I’ve felt better, I must say.”

Jason shot him a worried look.

“You right, Gaz?”

Gary nodded. 

“I’m okay now. It’s passed. Must be nerves.”

“You sure?”

Gary started to nod again, then let out a sharp cry without meaning to and clutched at his stomach again.

“Let’s hope so, eh?” He muttered weakly as soon as he could speak again.

Jason looked at him worriedly again.

“The baby’s not coming is it?”

Gary shook his head. 

“It’s not supposed to be here for another week yet.”

“Babies tend to have their own timetables though,” Jason pointed out. “Learned that from seeing my mom have all my little brothers. Well, Sam and Dom, anyway.”

“If this kid has any Owen in it, it’s not going to be early”, Gary laughed and then cringed with pain again. 

Half an hour later, the guests started entering the barn, which at this point had been heated, and looking around at the candles and garlands of greenery draped over the eaves and the massive star at the altar and the manger placed in the middle of it to hold the baby gifts and the sheep in the corner placidly chewing on hay, and taking their seats in the rows of folding chairs lined up on either side of the aisle. 

“Life is a mystery…” The music started up and everyone stood and looked expectantly as Robbie, Howard, and Jason walked down the aisle in their silk robes and silver crowns and bearing gold and frankincense and myrrh, followed by Mark, dressed identically to Gary except in red silk.

The four of them stood at the altar along with the minister and waited expectantly for Gary to walk down the aisle.

“When you call my name…”

Gary took a few steps forward and then collapsed with a groan.

“Gaz!” 

Mark ran to him, a stricken look on his face.

“I think the baby’s coming, Marko. Jason’s right. It’s got its own timetable.”

Mark’s eyes went wide. 

“But we need a doctor! A hospital! A... I don’t even know how you’re giving birth??”

Gary winced and grabbed tightly to Mark’s arm.

“I don’t either, mate, but it’s happening.”

Just then, the barn went dark and the noise from that fateful night nine months previously began again. Everyone flinched and covered their ears.

Then there was a moment of silence and then a blinding ray of light emanating from the middle of Gary and the voice once again spoke through him.

IT IS DONE. YOU MAY WELCOME YOUR DAUGHTER. MAY PEACE BE UPON US ALL.

With that, the voice was silent and the noise stopped and the candles somehow relit themselves and Gary found himself holding a squirming, screaming baby girl as the guests approached him slowly and bowed down in front of him and the baby in his arms.

He looked appealingly at Mark, who wrapped his arm around him and reached out to gently stroke the infant’s cheek.

“Do you still want to continue with the marriage ceremony?” asked the minister.

They nodded. Howard stepped forward and gently gathered the infant up from Gary’s arms and cradled her lovingly. She cried out fitfully and he made little shushing noises. 

“I’ll make it quick because someone else needs you very urgently.”

“Do you, Mark, take Gary to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold from this day forward…”

Mark smiled at Gary. 

“I do.”

“And do you, Gary, take Mark to be your lawfully wedded husband…”

Gary grinned at Mark.

“You bet I do.”

“... I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss the groom.”

Mark beamed.

“You bet I will.” 

And he leaned in and sealed his lips over Gary’s, both of them smiling into the kiss as they heard their friends cheering.

There would be time enough to learn just what it meant to be the parents of the new Messiah, to come up with a name for their new daughter- Gary was leaning strongly towards Mary because it seemed so apt, to learn to be a family in this new and strange way.

But at this exact moment all that mattered was that the three of them were now really a family.

Gary felt his eyes welling up as Howard gave him back his daughter and he pulled Mark to him for another kiss.

He was scared to death and yet he couldn’t imagine feeling any more content.

Mark beamed at him.

“I love you to the moon and back, Mr. B.”


End file.
